Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Danny Dimwit's Advice to the Nation on "Poppalation Growth."


by Danny Dimwit


Wow! Sekkund place! That’s awfl!

I just herd on the raydeeo that the people poppalation in Australia is growin kwikker there than here in Kanada! We need to hang our heds, folks! Shoor, we still have at least a millyun more fokes now than we had five yeers ago. But that’s not good enuff! All the big shots runnin Kanada keep tellin us (and they should no), that we need more peeple so we can have more, what do they call it, eekonomik growth? 

Heck, I can still look out my window here in town and see trees, grass, open spaces and sometimes even a heard of dear. Why in the heck aren’t they puttin up more billdings out there? Gets kinda tiresum lookin at nothin but…nacher. And I even herd some kinds of animals are akshully breedin as fast as we are. Kant have that! We need to get crackin! Sounds like there is still some habbatat out there that needs plowin down.
And I can still drive downtown and find a parkin spot. And there aren’t even parkin meters to plug. Not my idea of - what do them brainyaks call it - a pergressive town? More hussel and bussel! That’s what we need!

Just take a drive on the hiway and hek, sometimes therz a bit of spase tween the semis! We need to fill that in. We should be shootin for bumper-to bumper! 

And the skools better step up with the sex educatin. What if some of our yung foke still don’t know how to make babies? Lets get them teenage birth rates up. We have jobs to fill. And why are we still sellin them condos when all thare doin is cutten down on that poppalation and eekonomik growth?

Its too late fer me. My swimmers have all drownd. But you yung folks still of child-baren age, get crackn! We got an eekonomee to gro!

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